I don't care about JK Rowling's latest childrens book. I haven't read any of the Harry Potter books - I had no idea they existed until the first film came out and suddenly the whole world was going nuts over wizards and stuff. Did anybody else survive the 90s without being sucked in?
Anyways, as the end of the embargo approached speculation on the plot rose; not least at The Guardian. They called upon readers to come up with the most dramatic scene, the death of Dumbledore. The twist was to write in the style of some other author.
It must be a consequence of my painful GCSE English Literature course, but my favourite was the Geoffrey Chaucer (Canterbury Tales) interpretation:
The Poppynge of the Clogges
At Hogwarte's, schoole of wizardrye,
Unfoldeth drede folle tragedie!
Yonge Ron Weasleye, and classmayt Pottyr:
Fallen preye to 'tvylerottyr,
Who, throughoute Harry's sadde lyfe,
Hath been the source of muche stryfe;
Hys parente's lyves, rendyred shorte,
By naughtie manne: Voldemorte!
Pottyr and freynd, in't towyr trapp'd,
At mercie of thyss eevil ratte!
What woe! What payn! Unluckiness!
Top stuff. There's something about Middle English that adds to the arcane magical theme. Other highlights include in the style of "The Sun".