I went to bed in the worst possible way. I went to bed thinking. You know what I mean - I was trying to switch off but my brain just kept ticking over.
I was thinking about emails I need to send, blog posts I could write, many productive things for the day time when I'm infront of a keyboard - they might have even paused my compulsive Amazon buying.
I'd be annoyed that I couldn't sleep but for the fact that I actually came to a conclusion. I loved somebody. It was hard but true.
It has probably been more than a year since we've spoken. But when she popped into my head I realized that I wanted to know how she was, if everything was ok. We did not part well at all, but it would seem that I still care for her.
I'm writing this by hand on a train - I'd almost forgotten my last thoughts before sleep by the time breakfast came around this morning, so I haven't yet sent her the email I was half writing in bed - I'm writing to my blog instead, simply to try and recover those thoughts I think.
As I look out the window its so misty that all I can see are ghosts, the world is totally washed out, obscured. I don't expect to get a reply from her, I don't expect I've crossed her thoughts at all, we'll see.
I'm in another city, with another life but ghosts of my past are haunting me.